If you are sending an item that is a nice gift but not an item that can't be purchased in their area then don't....just send a card with the money to purchase that item. Or in one case I ordered online and had the gifts shipped direct to them saving a ton on shipping as the online store offered 'free shipping.'
When you are shipping books, or other items ask yourself, would it be cheaper to buy the item again than to ship it? Looking at the cost vs value - how valuable is the item to me? Is it worth paying doubt for or is there another way to remember the item or re-purchase the item etc.
Why waste money? If you think it through and you still want to pay to ship the items then at least you know you have consciously decided to pay double for the item.